Project report: Installing Heaterz brand heated grips on a Vespa GTS 300 i.e. Super

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO READERS: Flash forward one year: The Heaterz brand heated grips I installed did not even last a season.  The right grip became intermittent in the fall of 2014, and failed altogether within a few weeks.  I sought assistance on the Modern Vespa forum (click here), and at least one member with a lot of experience indicated that the throttle side will fail as a result of the throttle movement.  That was certainly not my experience with the US-made Hot Grips™ brand heated grips.  For that reason I'm tearing off the Heaterz and installing Hot Grips™.  Live and learn.  Though the Heaterz leads look more impressive than the Hot Grips™ leads, looks in this case are deceiving.  I attempted to remedy the problem by eliminating the quick connect terminals and soldering the wires (no joy, it's the grip itself that failed), and what I discovered is that the wire looks good, but it's all fairly flimsy insulation, and the copper filaments are much fewer than in the Hot Grips, and that's a large part of the quality equation.  This post remains interesting for the installation procedure for heated grips on a Vespa GTS, but please avoid the Heaterz brand of grips. Flash forward to March 2016: For the post where the Heaterz were replaced by Hot Grips™, click here.

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This is the second time I am installing heated grips on a Vespa motor scooter.

The first time was the installation of Hot Grips™ brand heated grips on a Vespa LX 150 which I have since sold.  You can see the project report on that installation by clicking here.

Once you get used to the comfort of heated grips, there's no going back, so here we go again, another heated grips project.

This time around the project is being done on a Vespa GTS 300 i.e. Super.  The nice thing about the GTS is that the electrical system is well-known to be able to support heated grips.  There is plenty of anecdotal evidence on the Modern Vespa forum of successful installations.

The other difference with this project is that I was unable to get Hot Grips™.  They would have been my preferred product but they are no longer exported to Canada.  The supplier I used last time, Lockitt.com in New Hampshire, suggested the Oxford Heaterz brand grips.  Those are made in the far east rather than in the United States.  The grips themselves are said to be of equivalent quality, but there is some evidence on the 'net that the electronic controller has failed.

For that reason I decided to stick with the Warm & Safe Heat-Troller® solid state control.  The other advantage with the Warm & Safe Heat-Troller® is that it can be mounted in a way that all you see is the control knob and the LED status light.  That's a big plus over the Oxford controller.  I'm not sure what the elegant way would be to install that on a Vespa.  I think that some owners have found a way to install the control in the glove box.  I wouldn't do that because the glove box is already very small and that would also mean giving up any chance of changing settings while riding.  When I had heated grips on the LX 150 I would frequently adjust the setting during my commute in response to changing conditions.

Finally, we Vespa owners love the classic iconic Italian design of the Vespa and prefer not to install farkles that get in the way of the Vespa look.

Another change from the Vespa LX to the Vespa GTS is that GTS has 'kneepads' at the top left and right of the legshield.  They are more like hatches to the interior of the legshield and not really kneepads at all.  The right kneepad gives access to the coolant reservoir and offers little in way of customization opportunities because the coolant reservoir takes up almost all the space on the right side.

It's the left kneepad that offers a world of options.

I had already installed dual 12 volt outlets to power electronics (click here for that project report), and I also installed a switch that one day will provide four-way hazard flashers.  I still haven't wrapped my mind around that one, so all I have for now is a push-button switch that goes nowhere.

There is room on the left kneepad for the control knob and LED of the Warm & Safe Heat-Troller®, so that's where it needs to be.  It's slightly less convenient there than on the handlebar fairing which is where I installed it on the LX, but the kneepad is not inconvenient either, and if ever I want to return the bike to stock, all I need to do is buy a new left-side kneepad.

With those preliminary remarks out of the way, without further beating around the bush, here is how I installed the Oxford Heaterz heated grips and the Warm & Safe Heat-Troller®.

So let's get started.  You'll see that I've numbered the paragraphs to make referring to the instructions easier, if need be.

As a final preliminary note, please read the entire project report before you begin.  That way if I've gotten a step in the wrong place from your perspective, you'll be aware before the bike is in pieces and you're in tears.

I also strongly recommend that as you remove screws and bits and pieces, you place each part, or related parts, in a sandwich baggie with a note on a scrap of paper so you remember where each part goes.  This will go a long way to making the re-assembly painless, especially if the project extends over days or even weeks and your memory of what goes where starts playing tricks with you.

Tools

Phillips screwdriver (preferably with a magnetic tip)
Long slim electrician's screwdriver
Set of metric Allen keys
Electric heat gun
Electric drill and drill bits
Medium grit sandpaper
Flat file
Razor knife
Adjustable crescent wrench
Pliers

Supplies

Super glue provided with the heated grips
Oxford Heaterz heated grips
Warm & Safe Heat-Troller® electronic temperature control unit
12-14 gauge solderless wiretaps
Small plastic wire ties
Rubbing alcohol (methyl hydrate)
Sandwich baggies and slips of paper
Left over black screws  from a RAM mount
Self-locking vibration-resistant nuts matching the screws (the kind you get with RAM mounts)
A few inches of vinyl-coated metal strapping
Black electrical tape

1.  No project worth doing is complete without curve balls and stupid mistakes.  You won't be disappointed.  This project starts with a curve ball and that leads directly to a stupid mistake (quite a few, actually).  Be patient, there is value in sticking with this story, and it has a pretty happy ending.

2.  I received the Oxford Heaterz and the Warm & Safe Heat-Troller® as Christmas gift.  My daughter Lauren played Santa and she did a great job.  I spotted the curve ball as soon as I unboxed the present.  The model of Warm & Safe Heat-Troller® my daughter bought came with an enclosed control switch instead of an exposed circuit board.  I wasn't at all sure how the heck I'd be able to mount that unit on the kneepad since the plastic of the kneepad is quite thick.  This particular controller is designed for handlebar mounting on a naked handlebar, and not for mounting through a dashboard or fairing.

3. I knew I could exchange it for the other model, but I didn't want the hassle of mailing it back and paying for return postage, and the delay involved.  I figured I could work around it and get it installed.  Besides, I like a challenge and the opportunity to let my inner McGyver out to play.

4.  My first thought was that I would simply remove the casing and presto, I'd have the naked model.  That turned out to be impossible.  When gentle prying failed to open the casing, I decided to take a peak inside by dremelling off a section of the back.  Surprise!  This thing is built to last!  There is basically no cavity.  The manufacturer filled the entire casing with resin.  Wow! talk about waterproofing.  From there I reasoned that I could just use the dremmel cutting wheel to trim back the face of the switch.  Fail! for the same reason.  That switch is impregnable.  Even with all my cuts, the case looks the worse for wear, but has lost absolutely none of its integrity.  I am really impressed with the quality of this product.

5.  So I shifted gears.  I hauled out my fine measuring instruments (micrometer, Vernier caliper), took my glasses off to take a good look at the exposed threads of the rheostat control.  There wasn't much left, but there might just be enough.  I figured I could countersink a hole in the kneepad leaving just enough material to anchor the control.  First I tested my theory on a piece of wood.  Bingo!  Worked like a charm.  Encouraged by this test, I attacked the kneepad with the same approach.  Fail!  If I had a drill press, I might have stood a chance.  Instead I drilled clear through the kneepad.  Now there was no chance of anchoring the switch using the threads on the switch and the plastic of the kneepad.

6.  Undaunted, and still optimistic, I went back to thinking.  I came up with the idea of using some kind of metal brace and a couple of screws to clamp the control to the kneepad.  The small hole I drilled for the switch's LED served to locate the switch on the kneepad.  After more thought, I settled on vinyl-coated perforated metal strapping.  More measuring, scrounging some black enameled screws left over from a RAM project (never throw such things out!), more dremelling, a little more drilling, and BINGO! Worked like a charm.

7.  Here are the photos of the mounted Warm & Safe Heat-Troller.  In the end this worked out really, really well.  Much more robust than the control that I should have started with.  Not that the inside of the kneepad is exposed to much grief, but the mechanics at the dealership might need to get in there (they'll be shocked with all the extra stuff they'll find!), and if they do, they can't possibly harm that switch.

8.  Just a note, you will see washers between the strapping and locking nut.  The washers were making it difficult for the screws heads to sit flush on the kneepad, and turned out not to be necessary, so I discarded them.  With the bench work done, it`s time to turn attention to the bike.  The first step is to open up the headset and gain access to the legshield. 

9.  The first step is to remove the windshield if there is one.  These instructions are for a Vespa OEM screen.  There may be slight variations for after market screens.  Using an Allen key loosen the screws on the windshield supports so that the windshield moves freely on the supports.  Next, locate where the windshield supports enter the headset.  Using an adjustable crescent wrench, loosen the bolts.  As little as a quarter turn may be sufficient and the rest can be done by hand.  Once the supports are loose, the windshield can simply be removed.  Certain after market windshield support become jammed in the tightened position even after the pressure from the bolt is removed.  In that case, it`s necessary to push the loosened support into the headset socket, which will cause the mechanism to release.  A light tap with a rubber mallet will certainly release the support.

10. Next remove the rear view mirrors.  Simply grasp the mirror stem and twist it counter-clockwise and continue unscrewing until the mirror stem comes off the bike.

11. With the mirror stems off, using a small Allen key, remove the brake fluid reservoir covers.

12.  Next remove the horn cast.  This is the plastic nose piece that covers the opening in the legshield with the horn is located.  Using a rag to protect the paint, insert a flat blade screwdriver into the slot on the right side of the Piaggio badge and gently pry it loose.

13.  Once the badge is removed you will see a Phillips head screw (all the screws for this project are standard Phillips head screws).  Remove that screw (a magnetized screwdriver helps).  Next slide the horncast up and off the bike.

14.  We're almost there.  The next bit is a little tricky and fiddly, and there is some risk of loosing a key crew.  Look carefully under the headlight.  You will see a Phillips head screw.  Remove that screw, taking great care not to let it fall into the legshield.  If it does, you'll have to remove the floor board to retrieve it, which will add a lot more dis-assembly to this project.  I strongly suggest using a magnetized screwdriver for that one.

15.  Next, if you look at the underside of the headset from the back side, you'll see two small screws, one on each side near the brake levers that need to be removed.  With all the screws out, begin the delicate task of wiggling and prying the front of the headset cover that has the headlight on it, loose.  There are a number of plastic retaining clips that make this bit fiddly.  For a while it might be impossible but persist, and it will come loose.  Once it's loose, disconnect the headlight and the parking light where the white plastic connectors are (the small one has a little catch that needs to be depressed) and now the front portion of the headset will come free.

16.  Place the parts you removed in a safe place where they won't get damaged.

17.  It's finally time to tackle the main objective: the grips.  Using an Allen key, remove the bar-end weights.

18.  Starting on the left side, use your heat gun (it's possible that a hair dryer might work too).  Begin heating the grip.  Heat the grip uniformly all round.  While heating the grip, take great care always to direct the heat away from the plastic headset or any other plastic parts.  They are all made of thermoplastic and will melt and be ruined if they are heated.  Once the grip is uncomfortably hot to your bare hand, begin twisting it back and forth in an unscrewing motion.  Eventually you will feel the grip coming loose.

19.  The more the grip moves, the easier this becomes.  At the beginning it requires quite a bit of force to get the grip moving.  You are likely to need to reheat the grip at least once in the process.

20.  An alternative on the left grip is to use some spray lubricant, like WD40, with the plastic straw that comes with the spray can, and get some lubricant between the grip and the handlebar.  This will work very well.  Unfortunately I don't recommend this for the right grip which the throttle side.

21.  On the throttle side, the grip sits on a plastic throttle tube.  Using the same heating technique, wrestle the right grip off.

22.  Once the grips are off, clean the exposed handlebar and throttle tube to remove any residue that will prevent the glue you'll need to use from setting properly.  I used rubbing alcohol (methyl hydrate) to clean the surfaces.

23.  Dry fit the heated grips.  They are a really nice fit.  Notice that the right grip (the grips look the same but are identified as left and right, because the throttle grip has a larger inside diameter), and notice as well that the one that fits on the throttle side won't slide on.  This is because the throttle tube on the Vespa GTS has a lip on the outboard side(whereas the throttle tube on the LX doesn't (go figure).  That lip needs to be removed.  Go at it gingerly with a box cutter or Exacto knife, or a scalpel if you're lucky enough to have one (I do but ran out of blades), and then finish the job with a flat file.  Here is a photo of the lip, mid-destruction.

24.  Now fit the right grip and see how nicely it fits.  It's time to figure out how the grips needs to fit so that the wire on the throttle side can rotate with the grip as the throttle is twisted without binding in the headset or interfering with the throttle or the brake.  Be aware of symmetry, if they both are fitted in the same orientation, the finished job will look good for years to come. Here is how I ended up mounting the grips.

25.  Now for the part that is about like defusing a bomb in reverse.  The Hot Grips on my LX were made fast with high temperature marine epoxy glue.  That glue, while it sets fast, is still forgiving and allows some time to get the alignment just right.  The Oxford Heaterz grips come with super glue.  I hate super glue.  It's too liquid, it gets everywhere, it will get on your fingers, and beware because it does bond skin very effectively.  Practice another dry fit, to make sure that you know exactly how the grip needs to fit, paying particular attention to the orientation of the wire, and the distance from the end of the handlebar where the bar end weight will fit.

26.  Once you're sure you've got it right, apply some of the supplied super glue to the bar.  I ran a bead along the top which immediately began running down the side of the bar.  I smooshed a little glue around, using the tube.  I then lost no time fitting the grip.  It was a little nerve wracking, but it worked out OK.  I did end up getting glue on my fingers, down the wire from the grip, and some even dripped on to the legshield.  I cleaned up the mess, then did the same steps with the other grip.

27. The white mess on the lead from the grip is super glue residue.  Hopefully it will tidy up without too much grief.

28.  It's a little difficult to tell in these photos, but I have the grips oriented so that the wires point straight back.  It's the throttle side (first photo) that determined the orientation.  After trying different orientations, this one leaves the wire lead in a looped configuration that allows the throttle to rotate freely without interference.

29.  With the new grips installed, it's time to turn your attention to the electrical connections.  Thread the leads from each of the grips to the centre of the headset.  Snap the quick connector from each of the grips to the wiring harness that came with the Heaterz grips.  Here's another picture that leaves something to be desired, but has the benefit of showing the connectors for the left and right grips plugged into the "Y" configured wiring harness.  The long tail of the "Y" is the piece that is fished from the middle of the headset down and out the left kneepad opening.

30.  Feed the long end of the wiring harness down from the headset and into the left kneepad space and out the kneepad.  Leave it dangling loose for now.

31.  Take the left kneepad with the control installed and place it on the floorboard on the left side of the bike.

32.  Using a Phillips screwdriver, remove the left turn indicator housing.  The Vespa GTS offers much less interior space inside the legshield than the Vespa LX and there isn't enough room in the kneepad space to hold the Heat Troller's control box.  The control box is the box connected to the Heat Troller switch unit by a longish black wire.  The white and blue leads, and the red and black leads emerge from the other side of the Heat Troller control box.  There is however enough room inside the leg shield just behind and to the left of the left turn signal housing.

33.  Thread the blue and white, and red and black leads into the kneepad space, lead them out of the open turn indicator opening, and continue pulling the unit through until the Heat Troller Control box is in hand.

34.  Use a tie-wrap to bundle up the excess black wire as close as possible to the control box and tuck that all inside that free space beside the turn indicator.  Now thread the blue and white and red back up from the turn indicator space into and out through the left kneepad opening.

35.  What you now have is an open kneepad, the blue and white leads and red and black leads from the Heat Troller, the black lead from the Heaterz grips with a white connector, and the kneepad itself, all hanging ingloriously out of the left kneepad opening.  In my case there is even more stuff hanging out, including the 6 position terminal strip that distributes positive and negative feeds directly from the battery, fuse holders for the 12V outlets and the hot grips, and the relay that shuts off the power to those accessories when the ignition is off.  It's a fair amount of stuff.  Plus I'm not an engineer or artist, so there is probably enough excess wire to make an engineer cringe, and an artist cry.

36.  Here's another video (a little premature because it shows the grips operating, but we're not quite there yet) that gives an idea of just how much stuff I've now got stashed in the left kneepad enclosure.

37.  Because I installed 12V outlets and a terminal strip earlier, hooking up the Heat Troller and Heaterz grips is a cinch.

38.  I took the positive connection for the grips by tapping the positive lead of one of my 12 volt outlets.  The ground connection comes directly from the battery on 12 gauge automotive wire via the terminal strip.  That circuit is protected by a 7.5 amp fuse.  The line that feeds the outlet is switched by a relay that gets its switching current from the GTS alarm connector.  That way of wiring the grips means that the power to the grips (like the power to the outlets) will only be on when the ignition is on.  That's a good thing because it means that it won't be possible to leave the grips running when I turn the bike off and remove the key.   That's the configuration that Oxford recommends for the Heaterz grips.

39.  Because a diagram may prove very helpful to others attempting this modification, I took the time to make a circuit diagram. If you need to see the diagram more clearly, click on it and it will open in a larger version in a new window.

40. To connect the wiring harness from the grips to the blue and white Heat Troller leads, cut off and discard the quick connector.  I made all my wire taps and connections using quick connectors.  You can pick these up at hardware stores or at a specialty electronics store, which is where I got mine.  You used to be able to get this stuff at Radio Shack (The Source, in Canada), but they have gotten out of the component business alltogether.  Here you see the connection of the heated grips to the blue and white Heat Troller wires.

41.  The last step in this project is to wrap the quick connectors in black electrician's tape as an extra measure of protection, stuff all the wiring and components back into the left kneepad space and button the bike pack up (re-install the headlight portion of the headset, the brake fluid reservoir covers, the mirrors, the horncast and the Piaggio badge.

42.  I believe that this wraps up another successful project report.  Now all I have to do is wait for winter to loosen its grip so that I can test this modification on the road.  I'll come back to this post with an epilogue to provide some commentary on the grips in action.

Done!!

Heated grips, that is.

Installed, tested, marvelous.  Within a few minutes, the grips get uncomfortably hot to the bare hand.

I'll be posting a detailed project report to show how it's done, but it'll take a while to get it posted.

Here's a glimpse of the heat control seen from the rider's position.

I was concerned that the LED for the control wouldn't be visible because it's fairly recessed due to the thickness of the kneepad plastic.  But, as you can see, it turns out not to be an issue.

I apologize for the background noise, no it's not the noise that heated grips make, it's my heat gun hanging overhead in an attempt (successful) to get the garage to a temperature conducive to working on the Vespa in light clothing.

Crazy plans

At the end of May I will find myself in the Tuscan hills, just a tad to the south of the midieval walled city of Lucca.  Forty kilometers due south is Pontedera.  It's an industrial manufacturing centre dominated by a massive factory complex.  No tourist in her right mind would go there.

But... there are three considerations at play that tip the balance in Pontedera's favour, if only for a tourist with a peculiar bent.  Like me.

The sprawling plant sits on Viale Rinaldo Piaggio, so-named for the founder of Piaggio & Co. SpA, an aircraft manufacturer that re-invented itself in post-war Italy by giving the world the iconic Vespa.  My Vespa came from that plant.

That's consideration number one.

Consideration number two, is that Piaggio offers a museum largely, though not entirely, devoted to Vespas.  That museum is a major draw for Vespa owners all over the world.

The third consideration is that there is at least one outfit in Pontedera where you can rent a Vespa for the day.

Picture exploring the museum, maybe picking up some Vespa swag in the museum shop, then setting off on a modern Vespa to explore the environs, going roughly north and west, following the banks of the river Arno, to Pisa and its eponymous tower.

Mark Twain did a grand tour of Europe, the Middle East and Egypt in the late nineteenth century that he documented in Innocents Abroad, which incidentally is free and can be downloaded to an e-reader.  If you haven't read it, I encourage you to.  You won't regret it for a moment.  It's delightful fun from cover to cover.  In a long rant complaining about the never-ending attribution of all Italian art forms to Michelangelo, he took a pot shot at the tower.

"In Pisa he designed every thing but the old shot-tower, and they would have attributed that to him if it had not been so awfully out of the perpendicular".

From Pisa, you can continue northwest for another 30-40 kms until you hit the Italian riviera.  One could toodle along there, heading up the coast, grab some lunch at an outdoor venue with a view of the Mediterranean, and then loop back to the east and towards the south, through the olive groves and hills of Tuscany, before dropping off the bike in Pontedera.

There is much to ponder, plot and plan before this little escapade transits from fantasy to reality.  But... it could happen.

New Lid!!

It's official!

I ordered a new Nolan N-104 helmet and a Sena SMH10 headset to go with it.

When I tried it on I fell instantly in love with it.  It's the latest iteration of Nolan's modular helmet and will replace my Nolan N-102 in daily use.

I don't want to say too much about it.  I won't get my hands on it for another three weeks or so, and I plan to do a much more detailed blog post then, including how well I do installing the Sena headset on it.  Richard has the same helmet and headset combination and has a very helpful post that will guide me in the installation.  Click here to get there.

Hear, hear!

To ride is a blessing, but it can be a surprisingly loud one.

I can hear the incredulous voices rising from many quarters "Dude, you ride a friggin' Vespa! What noise?"

Well... to you I say, get on my Vespa, get out on the highway, wind it up to 120 km/h, and then we'll talk about noise.  Motorcycle helmets get noisy, very noisy.  I love my Nolan, but it's not by any means near the top of the list of quietest helmets.

I discovered the solution when I cut the windscreen on my LX150 to mid height and was shocked at the turbulent buffetting I had.  You get an idea of what that is when someone opens one of the back windows of the car at highway speeds.

I already knew that many riders advocated ear plugs, but I didn't really get it until that moment.

For the last couple of years I've been wearing orange silicone ear plugs I picked up in the tool department at the local Sears store.  They've done the trick.  I never ride without ear plugs anymore. If you can believe it, my Sena headset sounds better with the earplugs.  And yes, I can still hear the traffic around me, and emergency vehicle sirens, almost as well as when I am driving Susan's BMW X3 with the windows up, the air on, and the radio belting tunes.

The orange ear plugs could stand to be replaced.  They certainly don't owe me anything.

A couple of weeks ago I downloaded the most recent Aerostitch catalogue <drools>.  That's when I saw that they offer an assortment of 10 different permanent ear plugs for US$28.  This morning I put in an order.  US$38 with delivery.  Not necessarily cheap, but certainly a cheap thrill (I ordered something from the Aerostitch catalogue... pinch me!)

Now I have a little something to look forward to.

Transitions, without a net

With a brutal winter having its way with us, there's not even the glimmer of a chance of riding.  The time I might have spent riding, I spend thinking.  That's a mixed blessing at best.

When you're a kid, important transitions happen in pretty quick succession.  I don't remember planning for them in any real way.  They just happened to me, and I moved on.

I guess it's in part my nature, in part because few kids plan much beyond a few days.  Maybe when Christmas looms kids can spend months planning for the gifts they want.  But that seems, at least for me when I was a kid, to be about it.

Things sure do change.

Retirement is the transition that looms large.  It has been that way for the past 26 years.  I began to save as soon as I realized the enormity of the challenge.  Lone provider, three kids, a job with no pension... it all adds up to a daunting biological clock ticking away mercilessly.   It seemed hopeless in the beginning.  I joked about retiring to a trailer park.

Now that retirement is single digits away, my boyish brown hair has shifted to gray, and the kids are on their own, retirement is really looming quite large.  It's been like rowing a boat on a dead calm sea towards an island that's a spot in the distance.  The island is now dominating the view.  I take stock often, and am more concerned with the vagaries of the markets than ever before.

I now think that we'll be OK.  There won't be a trailer park, unless it's by choice and it's my RV in a campground on the Florida coast. My financial planner said she's proud of me, that I've done better than some, and that's a comforting thought.  But I'm a worrier.  I wasn't an easy-going smiler in my youth, and there's less of that in me now.  Husband, father, breadwinner.  Done well, these things take a toll.  I am the polar opposite of Owen Wilson and Woody Allen would be best cast to play me in a movie.  OK, now I'm being too hard on myself.  I admire Woody.  He has the guts to say things out loud that most of us wouldn't dare utter.

I'm looking forward to having fewer cares, less stress.  I have to learn to smile, relax.  I've never been a dancer.  Dances make me shrink like a violet.  Maybe we'll take dancing lessons.  I'd like to be more like Paul Ruby.  I like Paul.

Hey Paul! Please leave Italy as you found it!  I'll be there in May and I'm looking forward to finding it as I last left it.

First step in a long project

It doesn't look like much, but that knob sitting between my two 12 volt outlets is the control for the Warm & Safe Heat-Troller® solid state control that will eventually control the Oxford Heaterz heated grips that will be installed in the coming weeks on my Vespa GTS.

As in the past, I will eventually post a detailed project report so that anyone with cold hands and an inclination to fiddle with their bike can have heated grips.

Earned my wings

Thanks to Peter's generosity, I have a really nice Vespa patch. I posted about this last September.

Thanks to time off during the holiday season, my wings are now permanently and prominently displayed on my summer riding jacket.  All it took was a little hot glue to hold the patch in place temporarily, and then a few tedious hours of sewing to make sure that the patch looks its best.

This emblem really strikes a chord. Many riders on Modern Vespa and on their blogs have said that their Vespas give them wings. My Vespa really did let me earn my wings, both figuratively and literally.

Thanks again Peter, my wings patch is very much appreciated.

Unfortunately, for the time being, my jacket and helmet spend the short days of winter languishing in my closet.

Pairings for wishes, not fishes

I confess that I altered the supermarket's display to take this picture. But it's their fault for offering cutesy-pie bottles of wine.

Some of my wishes for 2014 are modest. Others are extravagant. The extravagant wishes are a precious few. The remaining wishes are modest, and the modest ones are mine to realize. By this I mean that I can make them come true with some effort and a little commitment.

For instance, I began the year at a hefty 209 pounds. My wish is to whittle myself down to 185 pounds. It's doable, but requires both a short term change in lifestyle, and a long term change in lifestyle. Now that I've gone public with this wish, we'll see how I do with it.

Another modest wish is to live simply, and happily. I think that happiness is 80% state of mind, and 20% circumstance, with state of mind having pride of place. Time passes so swiftly, it's easy to let routine blend the days into a stream of trivial, if painless, sameness. My life would be better if I made the time really count.

I guess the big challenge is taking off the excess weight and keeping it off.  There is no doubt that the biggest contribution to my well-being begins and ends there.

So here we go, another year begins.  My very best wishes to all of you for a healthy, happy and fulfilling year.

The outlook for 2014

There's no better way to prepare for the new year than by doing something totally crazy.

And here it is, the post that blows past the 100-post-self-imposed blog limit.

What's new?  2014 is showing signs of being an awesome year in the life of your host.  Some things that are on the horizon, the things that will be truly life-altering, can't be uttered out loud.

I think I'll just stick to some of the minor awesome things.  Like the recent past, for instance.

The Christmas holidays have been a blessing.  Jonathan, Lauren and Andrew shared our roof, as did Vicky, Jonathan's girlfriend.  We celebrated Susan's birthday with a gourmet dinner at one of the city's very best restaurants, Club Chasse et Pêche, in Old Montreal.  Bob, do you remember where we parked our bikes in the old city, right on a corner, and then went for a stroll?  Well, two or three doors up that street is where the restaurant is.  A slice of heaven on earth, truly.

Photo to jog Bob's memory

See how Bob got here

Before that, we celebrated Christmas, but on the 27th, not the 25th.  Vicky couldn't get away from Toronto until the 26th at the end of the day, so we held our gift giving and receiving desires in check until she was able to join us.

And what did Santa have in store for me?  I'm glad I asked.

Among many other things too numerous to mention, I got a state of the art Cuisinart Grind and Brew coffee maker.  The new model with the bur grinder.  Our old Grind and Brew quit on us a few days before Christmas, after more than ten years of loyal service.  A doohickey on the grinder bit that is vital to the operation of the whole machine broke off, rendering the entire thing utterly useless.  For those who are coffee lovers, the Grind and Brew is, in my not-so-humble opinion,  the very best drip coffee maker in the world.

Did I get anything that made my rider's heart skip a beat?  You betcha!

Lauren drew me in the family-only secret Santa draw and gave me Oxford Heaterz heated grips, and a Warm-N-Safe Heat Troller.  There will be much fiddling to install them on the GTS, including the obligatory self-imposed project report.  Some dremelling has already been done, and there is more to do before the deed is done.  Thank you, thank you, thank you Lauren!!!

And there you have it folks.  The 101st blog post.  So much for arbitrary limits and self-imposed constraints.  I am a rebel at heart anyway.  It suits me better than the alternative.  I guess this means that there is no way of telling how many blog posts will happen in 2014 now is there?

One Hundred

This is the one hundredth Scootcommute blog post for 2013.

This is a blog post stew, a potpourri of random thoughts. Read on, you'll eventually understand.

 
      The bitter end     

On Sunday, November 24th, I put the Vespa into hibernation.

I checked the oil, checked and topped up the coolant level, checked the tire pressure, put in gasoline stabilizer, gave the bike a sponge bath, went to the gas station for a top-up, rolled the bike into position in the alcove at the back of the garage, put the cover on it, plugged in the battery tender, put away all the gear, and that was it.

The ride to get gas was very, very cold, especially on my legs because I was only wearing jeans. The odometer read 34,100 kilometers. The bike had 25,000 kilometers when I got it in March. That means just over 9,000 happy kilometers or 5,500 happy miles for the 2013 season. It should have been more. My moto tour consumed 3,000 km all by itself. But it's the commuting that really packs on the miles, and between March and November there was a lot of out of town travel and inclement weather that chewed into the commuting.

If anyone is counting, I know I am, that's 20,500 miles in the Vespa saddle for me. And I've only just begun. The 10,000 mile patch on my Corazzo jacket now feels inadequate. The next one is a 50K patch. I'm not even half way there.

 
      Not for the superstitious     

On Friday, December 13th, that's right, Friday the Thirteenth, I had tooth #18 (top right wisdom tooth, for the non-dental professionals among you) evicted.

My dentist had been recommending the eviction for years now. But, a tooth, is a tooth, is a tooth, no matter how unwelcome and useless it might be. I had done my level best to save it (actually to have my dentist save it). But in October it started acting out. And Stan did some creative work on it, against his better judgment. He said his last ditch effort "could last a week, a month, or a year" but he repeated his advice "it's time for that troublesome tooth to go".

Push came to yank when the on-and-off pain became distracting. When I went to see Stan fresh from a weekend of throbbing, he said "ready to get rid of it?" Sadly, I was.

The only appointment at the dental surgeon was for Friday the 13th. No surprise there. The fact that I leaped gleefully at the opportunity, tells you how meddlesome #18 had become. Other events had made me select the same day as the record date for all my company's year-end filings with securities authorities here and in the U.S. Now, if I were superstitious, that would have been the fate-tempting decision of all time. Adding a little tooth extraction was only putting one more dicey egg in that trouble-inviting date-basket.

As I write this on Saturday morning, it looks like I dodged the fate bullet. Friday the thirteenth, bah humbug to you! Hello Saturday the 14th! I'm under Susan's orders to lie low. She doesn't want my head to blow up. Fourteen hours post-op, and I'm feeling semi-human. But my mouth feels like Vancouver fourteen hours after the 2011 NHL riot.

 
      WTF - (Why the fuss?)     

It's now Wednesday, December 18.

I think I'll make this the last 2013 post, and cross my fingers that nothing crops up that begs to be shared between now and the very end of the year. Uh-Oh! What if Santa delivers Gerbing gloves on the 25th? What if I figure out how to make a four-way flasher circuit for the Vespa? What if Santa gets me new armored pants...?

If something does crop up, I think I may fiddle with this post to add to it, and in that way keep the Scootcommute to 100 posts for 2013. Ok, ok, that's kind of cheating, I know.

But 100 is such a nice round number. It's also a fairly ambitious undertaking. Just under two posts a week, on average. After all, I don't think I want to hold myself accountable for producing more than 100 posts in 2014. I certainly don't want this to become a chore. Something that makes a negative contribution to my life. And if I do blow past 100 posts, I'll never get to another decent, respectable target or cap. The next semi-worthy stop is 150, and that's a lousy cap. It's like one-and-a-half. 125 is worse, that's like one-and-a-quarter. Like some small ingredient in a recipe. Like cornstarch, or cream of tartar, or baking powder.

I enjoy writing blog posts. I never once thought I'd commit so much 'ink' to any topic. At least not to the Scootcommute. I did begin to write a spy novel. I haven't touched it in about five years, it seems. I tell myself that it's like wine in an oak cask. It's maturing. I'll come back to it when I get myself down to one day-job. I'll have a fresh perspective then. A better sense of my narrator's voice.

The Scootcommute has given me a little more confidence, at least as a writer. How pretentious does that sound? A while back I was in a cute little shop, full of cute little stuff. One thing was a small book of insults. One insult that comes to mind was suitable for a book reviewer. "That's not writing, that's typing!" Ouch!

If you're into insults, but you're already immersed in the spirit of the holidays, have a listen to You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!. The version I have is off the Glee! Christmas album of a few years back, sung by K.D. Lang and Matthew Morrison. I don't want to spoil it too much for you if you haven't heard it, but "Your brain is full of spiders" is a personal favorite. Now Dr. Seuss, he was a writer.

Well, that's enough musing for one last post, if you ask me. Besides, there's an even chance I'll have to return and dump in more stuff to keep the total down to one hundred.

Time will surely tell.

Thanksgiving

Here we are in the midst of a temporary and all too short reprieve for North American turkeys.  Somewhere on the calendar between Canadian and US Thanksgiving.

That certainly doesn't mean that there is nothing to be thankful for, far from it.

Bob (yes that Bob) took up the production of a modest, little, and oh so exclusive, clothing line.  The production run was microscopic by normal fashion industry standards.

What the garments lack in runway finesse, they more than make up for in the exquisite and refined beauty of the micro-limited-edition artwork.  I may have to keep mine under lock and key.

Hopefully Karen, or Steve or Bob may one day put one up in a Sotheby's auction and the rest of us (or our lucky estates) will be able to watch the price get driven to stratospheric levels.  But not me... I'm holding on to mine.

Let us all give thanks to Bob.

Thanks Bob!

Amen.

Let the shopping begin

This is a post for the trendy jet-setters among you.

Now that the Vespa riding season has closed, it's open season on Christmas shopping.

Ogilvy's has a Vespa LX50, skinned in the store's iconic tartan, front and centre in one of its Ste-Catherine street windows.

Ogilvy's windows, and particularly its Christmas displays, make even the grinchiest scrooge want to shop till he drops.  As you can see, the bike is laden with undoubtedly expensive chi-chi gifts suitable for the most discerning trophy wife or trophy husband.

This baby makes its appearance every few years or so in the holiday windows at Ogilvy's.  By the look of this bike it spends its substantial idle time between appearances safely stored in the store's prop department, because it bears not a single sign of wear or tear.

It's a fitting tribute to Vespas everywhere.  Vespas are perhaps, just perhaps, the bikes that best evoke that free-spirited, carefree, upscale, totally cool, yet eco-friendly urban lifestyle that the store feels will lure the fancy-pants crowd to spend, and spend.

For those who have the means to make a trip to Montreal just to do their money-is-no-object holiday shopping, the two city blocks  between Sherbrooke to the north, Ste-Catherine to the south, Mountain to the east, and Crescent to the west, are home to the toniest, most exclusive, and most expensive shopping Montreal has to offer.  Ogilvy's anchors the south-east corner.  The flagship Apple store is two doors west.  Holt Renfrew anchors the entire north end on Sherbrooke street.  In between you will find boutiques offering the nec plus ultra for Christmas, from Cartier, to Louis Vuiton, to Rolex, to Louboutin, to Jimmy Choo, and beyond.  Sadly, there are no Vespas for sale there, notwithstanding the promise Ogilvy's vitrine seems to make.

I suggest you book a suite at the Ritz Carlton right now.  While you<re at it, better make some reservations at Maison Boulud in the hotel, because that place will be hopping with hungry and wealthy holiday shoppers.  Snooze and you lose.  It may already be too late.

The gold diggers among you who aspire to become trophy wives should be able to find a suitable perch at Chef Daniel Boulud's bar where you'll be able to angle for a suitably wealthy sugar daddy.

I can almost hear the sleigh bells.

The thrill is gone...

... the thrill is gone away, the thrill is gone baby...

'Cause the snow has come, the snow has come my way...

Yes indeed, B.B. King and the weather has me singing the blues.

So long black Vespa...

Hello black Honda.

Think big, not small - thoughts on Quebec's charter of values

If there is a season or time of the year for thinking, it has to be November.

University students have exams looming and they have to be thinking.  Remembrance Day is this coming Monday, and that invariably gets me thinking.

This morning I set out for the office on my Vespa.  I had to think about that quite carefully.  The exquisite calculus of low temperatures and the probability of icy precipitation is more art than science.

The year is ending and my work requires me to be thinking, mostly about compliance filings and satisfying the myriad requirements of securities regulators and investors.  Christmas is also on the horizon. I need to think about gifts, holiday plans, and Susan's birthday.

Some thoughts are somber however.

Remembrance day brings my grandfather to mind.  He was a World War I veteran.  I only knew him through my grandmother's voice and her eyes, how tenderly and reverently she spoke of him.  Those are thoughts of loss, of pain.  You get to a point when you seem to know more people who have left this good earth than those who walk it still.  There are people in my iPhone address book who have left us.  Telephone numbers that only evoke memories, that either lead elsewhere, or nowhere, but that used to lead to the well known tones of peoples' voices.  I can hear them now.  "Hello!"  That simple word with the many lilts and intonations.  My mom, my grandmother, my mother in law, father in law, aunts, uncles, colleagues, acquaintances, neighbors, mentors.

When it comes to thinking, bigger is better than smaller.  Higher, is better than lower.  Anything that gets us to think, really think, is better than the alternative.  Life presents many opportunities to resist thought.  It takes guts to think.  Thinking leads us to the boundaries of our knowledge.  To where the fear of the unknown lurks in the shadows.

There are those, intellectually speaking, who prefer the comfort of the known.  The small circle of friends and family, the familial and familiar.  People who prefer simple explanations.  Sometimes, perhaps often, the comfort of simple explanations and familiar surroundings can best be found by walling out aspects of life, aspects of our humanity, that challenge the simplicity and comfort of our smaller, simpler lives.

I find that many people who succumb to the temptation to live simple, neat and tidy lives, in the midst of simple, neat and tidy surroundings, are small-minded.  They think simple low thoughts.  Often they get their comfort at best by exclusion, at worst by oppression.  This is how ghettos happen.  These are the headwaters of xenophobia, prejudice, biggotry, and racism.

This thinking season, there are stark choices facing those of us who live here, in the Province of Quebec.

A bill has been tabled in our legislature.  We like numbers here.  We especially like numbers when as a society we embark upon the politics of exclusion and oppression.  It's simpler, more comfortable, and invites less thought, when we use a number instead of a name.  Bill 22, Bill 101, Bill 60, now what's not to like?  It's certainly much better for the mover of low-brow, simple thoughts, to give the thing a number than to call it by its rightful name, like The Suppression of Other Cultures Act (Quebec).  It's easier to pretend you aren't a bigot when you promote Bill 60.  Isn't it?  To encourage people to use the number, you give the draft legislation a name that no one can manage in a single breath, much less commit to memory: Charte affirmant les valeurs de laïcité et de neutralité religieuse de l’État ainsi que d’égalité entre les femmes et les hommes et encadrant les demandes d’accommodement.  It even has the words égalité and charte - "equality" and "charter".  How bad can it be?

What better way to protect our culture, to make it shine brightly, than moving other cultures, different from ours, out of the light, into the shadows, towards darkness, and out of sight.  We can stand tall if we march onto the bowed backs of our minority neighbors, can't we?

Bill 60 is the latest and most odious example of institutional, government-sanctioned biggotry.  It's state of the art exclusionary politics of the worst kind.  It's the heavy leaden hand of the state, preparing to take a hefty swing at the usual suspects, all in the name of the mother culture.

To protect our culture we must take deadly aim at the virus that threatens us.  Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs.  Unless they hide their identities, mask their differences, become white like us, we will drum them out of public office, herd them out of public service, banish them from our government offices, schools, hospitals, municipal offices, recreation centres, remove them from our police and fire departments.  Heck, we don't even want them collecting our garbage.

Torontonians are hanging their heads in shame, wringing their hands, and squirming uncomfortably in the glare of world opinion because they have a mayor who is by all accounts failing as a mayor, and failing as a human being on many levels.

I would prefer every Quebec municipality to have its very own Rob Ford if it meant that Bill 60 simply vanished.

As a Quebecker, I feel anger, and deep, deep shame.  I also fear the inevitable consequences of the vile politics of exclusion.  This will get much worse before it gets better.

Those are my November thoughts for now.